The internet is a huge, mostly wonderful space, so why is it so hard to find an online therapist that’s both queer and Christian? (Insert “there are dozens of us!” meme…) And once you’ve found a queer Christian therapist, how do you make sure they’re the right one to help you?
5 Things to Look for in a Queer Christian Therapist:
- They give off good vibes. Seriously. Trust your gut! If you don’t feel like you can be open with your therapist, therapy isn’t going to get deep enough for you to get much out of it. Even if they’ve got all the right training and credentials, you need to feel safe enough to be vulnerable with this person.
- Their fee feels comfortable for you. Short term therapy can last for a few months. Long term therapy can go for a year or more. You want to make sure you can comfortably afford to pay for weekly sessions because you’ll get the best results if you can be there regularly.
- They offer free consultations. If you’re planning to make the investment in therapy, you want to make sure it’s a good fit. This is especially important when you’re vetting LGBT affirming therapists. I’m sure we’ve all had the experience of meeting someone who claims to be affirming but doesn’t really know anything about actually supporting you. This goes double if you’re looking for someone knowledgeable about kink, consensual non-monogamy, or gender/sexual identities that go beyond what’s covered in a corporate HR training.
- They keep things professional. Things like confidentiality, boundaries, and secure communication are super important with therapy. Those are totally non-negotiable. When you have questions or concerns, your therapist should be able to have those discussions in a professional way without getting annoyed or defensive.
- They have a collaborative view of the process. Sure your therapist has studied about mental health, therapy, and relational dynamics for many years. But you’re the expert on your life and your experiences. A good therapist will never minimize your perspective even as they’re helping you grow and change. If you could be helped by a generic list of suggestions, you wouldn’t need a therapist! Therapy should be a collaboration between you and your therapist to work toward your goals.
You’ve got this!
I hope this list helps you find the queer Christian therapist you’ve been looking for. If you’re in California and interested in working with me online, you can contact me to schedule a free consultation. Learn more about me here or check out my FAQ.